Tuesday, 14 August 2018

Mr Tonight

They were wrong, so wrong about me, so wrong about my choice and how i deal with my emotions.

So wrong about my feelings, and how i will get past a seemingly ugly situation,so wrong about my actions and reactions.

So dead wrong about my strength, they allow my feeble look pass for my greatest strength.

They were aware of all what had happened, and thought the happenings is enough to break any rock.

So true, but that wasn't true of me, I had my shock absorbers on and get back up as fast as I hit the floor.

Maybe, just maybe, one more try won't be a bad idea after all, "I thought to myself " so I lunched out.

To their dismay, I wasn't in the look-out for what they thought I should be on the lookout for. It was about the present I thought.

Let the future take care of itself, I wanted a happy present, devoid of expectations and high hopes.

A present of peace, love, calmness and laughter. I wanted some sound sleep and I needed it now.

I got it after all, and YES!  The future got itself sorted out too.


Saturday, 4 August 2018

The colour of my blood

It wasn't the colour of their Skin tone that matters, nor the silk nature of their hair, i was never interested in their race, religion or tribe,always afraid of height so that meant nothing to me anyways.

They came in different  shapes, colours and sizes, so i learnt to learn about new adaptations every hour. Studying them like some Cambridge scholarship exams i never get to write anyways.

I read their statements but never understood the last sentence ever, so i lost the message halfway through,, perhaps because they never spelt the words correctly,but i read them anyways.

Vulnerability was not my thing so i remained guarded at all times. They tell me to activate my shock absorbers but i didn't need to. I was already absorbed in shock.

No one knew my name, they were not Patient for the Story, so i tell them to myself instead. I became my friend when i didn't know the enemies.

Their hurt cuts so deep and i bleed out in pain,endlessly fighting the urge to fight back, and when i finally decide to, i realize the real colour of my blood.

It wasn't red after all. It was White, transparent, pure and crystal. It was my real Identity.

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Motherhood,the pain,the sacrifice,the smiles,the secrets,and the anticipation.

From the moment she laid her back down on the bed in total surrender to the one she calls LOVE, to the emotional pain she bear and refuse to admit while he stroke her back and forth for some minutes of pleasure to his body.

From the moment she has to wake up very early in the morning after the bed-duty all night, just to make breakfast for him even while the little one grows inside of her.

From the different times she has to control her maternity mood swing just to keep her home in check and stay at peace  with both nuclear and extended family members,  maintaining official sanity in her work place so to pay her bills.

From the moment she went through series of labour stages,,,,,,  a pain only she can bear. From the point she holds her little one in her hands, nursing and loving and still maintaining her home front.

From the moment she makes him food, do his laundry, drops and pick him up from school and attend to his homework. Smiling under the scorching sun while their heart bleeds within their chest in pains.

From the moment she begins to dish out advice, checking up on his company and ensuring all was well with him. (her child). Those moment they pretend to be full just to fill your stomach, while their intestine wallow in hunger.

From the moment she starts prying into his emotional state and making sure he makes and also choose a good partner.

From the moment she starts growing old, age begins to fail, taste gradually lost, choice changing and even emotion grows fragile.

These mothers all have their secrets. The secret they can't share because they want to appear strong, a secret they can't share because they want to cry alone, a secret they can't share because they put you first.

Their secret anticipation and expectations,  their secret smile and deep laughter. Their untold stories, most of them go to their graves with.

Indeed they are braver than they think, wiser than they can imagine.
Stronger than they show
And caring beyond words.

To all the mother out there
We love you beyond words.

Happy Mothers day

Saturday, 5 May 2018

Thick skin, elastic heart.

Appearance differs from reality they say, but how different is the content to its container? Question of the mind though.

With an unending harsh environment that propelled me developing a tough skin,  and the heat it generates melts my heart so high that it change its original fleshy form.

As the heating progresses I realized I was gonna be left with no heart (death) and I didn't want that for myself,, so I decided to pick up what was left of the heating, and all I could make out of it was nothing but an elastic form.

All effort to get it to its original state proved abortive due to the severity of the heating.I tried,i tried,i really tried,,,but the elastic form was all there was.

The pasturization level was so high that the catalytic effect was an elastic heart in a thick skin. So now i am glued with them both.

My new skin and heart became so close to themselves that i began to feel like some total stranger to my own body.
A feeling i wasn't too cool with initially.

Blending in on them wasn't that easy,but like some fine wine, i love every taste of them now.

A drop of this fine wine gives a soothing relief and i don't miss the old life, i am embracing the new life and making love to it every single time.

I am the new version of the old me.

MODEL= Rosemond.

Saturday, 14 April 2018

sounds of resounds

While some worry about the glass being half full, others worry about it being half empty, while I worry about refilling the damn glass and toast to a good life.

The silver spoon was never a craving for me but the silver in itself was my inner drive.

So I turned on the ignition and shut my ears to the world and my eyes to the traffic signs.

An act I knew could cost my life,,,,,,
but what then is life if I can't express myself, I thought to myself, and this fueled my engine as I set out for the ride of life.

The road of course wasn't a smooth one as I bumped into pot holes and bumbs that posed a serious threat to my car tire,, and sometimes when the tire has passed it's elastic limits it burst open.

I wasn't ignorant of this future happenings so I had my truck stuck full with various spare parts before I set off.

Then, at every point of a fix, I heard this tiny subtle voice asking me to turn around and go home.

But then I realized that "home" is not where you come from but what you make of where you are. Since I was in the middle of nowhere, I thrive to get to my destination so I can pitch my tent and comfortably call it home.

Still on this journey though,, on my way home.

NB= never stop your journey  half way. Home is possible.

MODEL=Maggie (big sist)